2010 in Review: The worst television of the year

2010 in Review: The worst television of the year

It’s not like me to dwell on the negative. But yes, there is room for improvement in the world of TV. This was the year that brought us the short-lived ABC series “Conveyor Belt of Love” and grown men squabbling about a purloined pea puree on “Top Chef: D.C.” And those weren’t even the low points.

These were. Relive with me, if you’re up to it, some of the most odious developments of 2010.

Shaggy dating Velma

So very, very wrong. In the latest “Scooby-Doo” incarnation, “Mystery, Incorporated,” Cartoon Network brought us the grooviest Scooby gang yet: Fred and Daphne as friends with benefits, Shaggy and Velma making out in the mystery van, and Scooby acting jealous. This is progress? The new hip, ironic tone of the series is appreciated, but as for the rest of it — yikes!

Jake Pavelka breaking up with Vienna Girardi

And you thought “Bachelor Pad” was tacky. After Jason Mesnick dumped Melissa Rycroft on camera, how did “The Bachelor” top itself the next season? With a very special breakup special. Pavelka revealed himself to be a cold, creepy control freak; the trashy Vienna told all — and I mean all — to Star magazine for a reported $90,000. There’s a happy ending, though. Host Chris Harrison says Vienna won’t be back as the Bachelorette: “Anything could happen, but no.”

Generic titles

There are many reasons for a show to fail: tough competition, lack of network support, a writers strike or maybe just because it’s just lousy. It’s downright painful, though, to watch a show die because of its title. With so many options on the schedule, there’s no way the audience is going to click over to a show that could be about — well, anything. “Chase,” “Undercovers,” “The Event,” “The Whole Truth,” “The Defenders,” “Blue Bloods,” “Outlaw” ... they could all swap titles and viewers wouldn’t know the difference. The worst casualty: FX’s “Terriers,” a great new series about scrappy private investigators, which alienated an audience that thought it was a documentary about the Westminster Kennel Club.

Dora the Explorer suing Nickelodeon

Technically, it was the girl behind Dora the Explorer. Caitlin Sanchez, 14, had been the high-pitched, earnest voice of the cartoon pioneer since 2008. In October she sued the channel for $7 million, saying she’d been tricked into signing a “bizarre, impenetrable, unconscionable contract.” Nickelodeon explained, “Unfortunately, Caitlin’s voice changed and she was no longer able to portray the Dora character, as happened with the actress who originated the role.” On Dec. 3, Sanchez dropped the lawsuit. Color me disillusioned, as I wait to see if Caitlin has given Backpack any mutinous ideas.

Bruno Tonioli insulting Michael Bolton

If we have learned nothing about soulful singer Bolton, it’s that he’s sensitive. Bolton is all about easy listening, not harsh criticism. And he was a good sport about crawling out of a doghouse when his partner asked him to. “Dancing With the Stars” is supposed to be a fun show. But flamboyant judge Tonioli, who usually specializes in extended metaphors, ripped into him. Tonioli sputtered that it was “the worst jive in 11 seasons,” and that he did it “very, very, very badly.” The worst part: Bolton’s 90-year-old mom, Helen, had flown in from Connecticut for the show. “She was very angry,” Bolton later said. “It’s a good thing that there was an entire dance floor between her and Bruno.”

Late-night men behaving badly

Jay Leno went back on his word, returning to “The Tonight Show” after he floundered in prime time. Conan O’Brien pouted, tweeting his little heart out and bumping George Lopez from his slot on TBS. David Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel attacked. Sure, it was fun watching them slug it out, but did they really think that we could feel any sympathy for the problems of these aging, overprivileged white men? Bring on the new generation, I say.

Reality families

Does reality TV warp perfectly good families, or is fame whoredom a genetic trait? It’s hard to say. But consider the tribes that represented the American family on TV this year: Kar­da­shian, Gosselin, Lamas, Palin, Hasselhoff, the “Real Housewives” and various teen mothers. Who would have guessed we’d end up yearning for the relative stability of the Osbournes?

Dark reality

Joseph Cerniglia of “Kitchen Nightmares” jumped to his death from a bridge in September, joining Rachel Brown of “Hell’s Kitchen” as the latest real-life victim of the verbally abusive chef Gordon Ramsay. Julien Hug, who competed for Jillian Harris’ love on “The Bachelorette,” shot himself in November. “American Idol’s” Fantasia Barrino attempted suicide this year, too. The psychological screening process seems to be failing, especially when we remember Ryan Jenkins, a contestant on “Megan Wants a Millionaire,” who murdered his wife last year and then hanged himself. No, appearing on reality television is probably not what led to their downward spirals. But it sure didn’t help.

Kanye West, backseat producer

In November, West appeared on the “Today” show to talk about hurting George W. Bush’s feelings — but interrupted himself to shush the crew and complain about the notorious Taylor Swift VMAs clip being aired under the interview. “How am I supposed to talk if you’re gonna run this thing while I’m in the middle of talking?” he said to Matt Lauer. “Please don’t let that happen again.” It’s called a visual aid, Kanye, and it’s the whole point of television. The man may be a musical genius, but he doesn’t play well with others. His worst enemy, of course, is himself.

The end of “As the World Turns”

That’s right — the world stopped turning. I spent my most impressionable years watching Meg Ryan perfect her America’s sweetheart routine on that show, Marisa Tomei lose out in a love triangle and Julianne Moore play her own evil twin with dignity. The fictional town of Oakdale, Ill., was more dramatic than Wisteria Lane. But after 54 years, CBS pulled the plug on the soap, and all the characters we counted on as our daytime friends disappeared. It was just one more reminder that you can’t go home anymore.